Flipswitch

Hey,

It’s Emily here. I hope everyone had a good week/weekend/whatever time period since you have last been on the site. It’s been a stressful week (as always). And every time I think about how much work I have to do I get so angry because I heard that senior year was supposed to be easy. It isn’t; I won’t lie to you. So don’t be fooled by those around you, Juniors! Next year will be hard; I assure you. There are lots of tests and quizzes and annoying teachers to deal with daily. This is when I wish that I could just stop doing all of my homework and I do stop…but then my conscience kicks in. It’s a vicious cycle.

School has not only been extremely stressful this week, it’s been dragging and some really strange occurrences took place. On Thursday afternoon, one of the maintenance mechanic’s at my school committed suicide in the building. No one really knows that much about it, and already a few people “in charge” of the school have been playing the suicide out to be a heart attack in attempt to keep everyone calm. Very sad.

Thinking about what went on is pretty surreal because I know things like that happen and I’ve heard of them happening, but I never think they’re going to happen to me (or around me)…until they do. And this time it has. (Wow. That was a bit vague, but hopefully you understand what I’m getting at.) I’m not really sure how I feel about it either. Chris even asked me, “and Emily, how do you feel about that?” To which I answered that I feel pretty horrible, but I’m not very good dealing with those types of situations. It’s like the war right now…you know there are people dying. You see it on the news, in the papers, everywhere, but something is keeping you from understanding the reality of the entire situation until it becomes personal. Sometimes that isn’t even enough; that’s the really sad part.

What bothers me about the entire situation is that no one really cares about the “why” behind this man’s act. People at my school were more concerned about whether there was school the next day or if there would be news crews coming to report on what took place. Others were self-righteous and yelling at the people who were talking about it openly not to discuss what happened at all. But it needs to be talked about. How else can we move forward from things like this if they aren’t discussed? I talked to one of my friends about it and he told me how terrible he thought it was and that suicide is stupid. And, I agree…I think it stupid (for lack of a better word) to an extent. I’ve never been depressed so I wouldn’t know how it feels to get to that point where I can’t face the world anymore. I can’t really judge the act that far. And I think the important thing is to prevent those from getting to that point of no return than to claim the act stupid and forget about it. Forgetting brings about repetition, and suicide is something that shouldn’t keep repeating itself.

I know that this blog post was pretty heavy (especially for the first one), but writing it helps me think about what I feel is importa nt. I’ll try to keep it lighter in the next one. Until then, have a good week. Hopefully you will be more productive than I was this past week.

Emily